Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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