im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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