she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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