I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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