he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm just crazy horny about you
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
