He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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