But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
