Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
