What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
