i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i think my mom watched the whole time
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
