that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
