how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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