he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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