Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
