Someone shit on the floor
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
