sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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