I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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