i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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