I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
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I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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