absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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