I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
