I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Are we still banned from the library?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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