On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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