i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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