nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
