finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
is it fun? or sober?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
