Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
