Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
