i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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