There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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