at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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