ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
