Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
