Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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