I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize