She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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