I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dick very happy bro
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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