my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we're making bets on your personal life
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
