I want to stick my p in your. b.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
did i just pee glitter
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
