You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
