never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Floor bacon is actually really good
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
