I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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