conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
