The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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