Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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