Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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