Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
