She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
