One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
