I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
