idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
