Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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