just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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