Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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