ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
