Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize