This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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