Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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