She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
