dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize