so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
